E-Health resources

• What and when to validate
• Recovering from invalidation
• Learning to validate yourself
• Validating others
  • To validate others
  • Communicate what you understand about the situation
  • Legitimize the “facts” or another’s responses
  • Explain w88 online live casino own feelings after expressing understanding
  • Acknowledge the situation, the other’s opinions, feelings, etc.
• Respect emotions, reactions and goals

Sections of the module

1. Validation of others

• It is the core of communication between individuals and within couples, friends and families, so it can help with all relationships
• It builds trust and slows negative reactivity
• It maintains fairness and decreases anger
• It improves mutual understanding
• It increases self-respect
• It helps relationships to get through “rough” spots
• It makes closeness and intimacy possible

2. How I can validate myself

• Be mindful of thoughts and feelings: observe and describe them as being present and being real; just notice (what is, is); remember, I do not necessarily have to participate in the thought
• Be mindful of self-judgments regarding my thoughts and feelings; practice observing and describing them non-judgmentally
• Search for understanding of and legitimacy in myself and my experience, honestly and non-judgmentally
• Recontextualize the thing(s) I tend to invalidate (consider a broader and more balanced context for the thing I'm invalidating)
• Normalize my normal behavior
• Respond in a way (action) that takes myself seriously
• Recognize problematic behavior and target it for change
• Provide myself with nurturance and support, or seek it from another
• Use a wise mind
• Practice willingness with respect to my own experience

3. Invalidation and recovering from it

• Invalidation is any time that w88 online live casino experience was not respected as being legitimate or true
• We frequently receive "mixed messages," especially when we know on one hand that love is demonstrated through caring behaviors, and yet we feel hurt
• Another form of invalidation is being told that we do not, or should not, feel the way we do
  • For example, we may be told that we have "no right to be hurt," "need to get over it" or should "stop overreacting"

4. The many ways to invalidate the valid

• Do things to diminish safety (make threats, be coercive or aggressive)
• Ignore or don’t pay attention (or pretend not to pay attention)
• Minimizing feelings or their legitimacy
• Be critical or judgmental; put the worst possible “spin” on the behavior
• Let miscommunication stand unrepaired
• Be willful (focus on being right instead of effective or decent)
• Make assumptions about another person that are not mindful, are judgmental, not consistent with the facts, or the worst “spin”
• Up the ante: escalate conflict
• Try to win an argument by being more hostile or attacking
• Don’t pay attention to another’s pain or suffering
• Engage in “controlling” behavior
• Engage in crazy-making behavior (e.g., “gaslighting,” be dishonest, or patronizing, insist she or he feels or thinks something even though they say they don’t – even if you are “well-intended”)
• Don’t validate enough
• Treat the person as though she or he is fragile

• Prioritizing w88 online live casino goals
• DEARMAN, GIVE and FAST tools and practice
• Additional practices for interpersonal effectiveness

Sections of the module

1. Prioritizing w88 online live casino goals

• Before responding during a stressful, high-conflict interaction, you want to understand what w88 online live casino primary goal is.
• What do you most want to leave the situation with?
  • What you are requesting
  • The relationship at risk
  • w88 online live casino self-respect

2. Depending on what you want to leave the situation with, you will tailor w88 online live casino approach:

• Skill #1: DEARMAN
  • Describe the facts of the situation
  • Express w88 online live casino opinions and feelings
  • Assert what you want or need, or say “no”
  • Reinforce the other person to want to do what w88 online live casino request
  • StayMindful of w88 online live casino goal of the situation
  • Appear confident
  • Negotiate only what you’re willing to give up to attain w88 online live casino primary goal
• Skill #2: GIVE
  • BeGentle towards the other person
  • ActInterested in what they’re saying
  • Validate this perspective
  • Use anEasy manner
• Skill #3: FAST
  • BeFair to yourself
  • NoApologies for what you’re requesting
  • Stick to values
  • BeTruthful about the situation

Some fun ways to describe the skills

• Steps for practicing emotion regulation
• TEASE MASTERY tool to reduce vulnerability to negative emotions

Sections of the module

1. Steps for practicing emotion regulation

• Step #1: Mindfulness of current emotions
  • Learn to observe w88 online live casino emotions
  • Remember you are not w88 online live casino emotions
  • Do not judge or suppress w88 online live casino emotions
• Step #2: Challenging emotional responses
  • Checking the facts
    • Ask yourself which emotion you want to change?
    • Ask what the event is that is prompting w88 online live casino emotion?
    • Ask what interpretations, thoughts and assumptions you hold about the event?
    • Ask whether you’re assuming a threat?
    • Ask whether w88 online live casino emotion and/or its intensity matches the facts of the situation?
    • Ask what’s the worst case scenarios and how likely is it?
  • Opposite action
    • Identify and name the emotion
    • Check the facts (see above)
    • Identify and describe w88 online live casino action urges
    • Ask w88 online live casino wise mind (see mindfulness module)
    • Identify opposite actions to w88 online live casino action urges
      • Opposite action ofshame= tell the secret to people who will accept it
      • Opposite action ofsadness= get active
      • Opposite action ofanger= gently avoid/be a little nice
      • Opposite action ofanxiety= approach/don’t avoid
    • Act opposite all the way to w88 online live casino action urges, always keeping safety in mind
    • Repeat acting opposite until w88 online live casino emotion changes
  • Problem-solving
    • Figure out and describe the problem situation
    • Check the facts to be sure you have the right problem situation
      • If the facts are not correct, repeat the previous step
    • Identify w88 online live casino goal in solving the problem
    • Brainstorm as many solutions without being critical of any of them
    • Choose the solution that fits the goal and is likely to work
      • If you are having trouble, do a pros and cons list to compare solutions
    • Put the solution into action
    • Evaluation the results of using the solution
      • If it did not work, try the next best solution
  • Do one pleasant activity each day
  • Focus on positive events in w88 online live casino life
    • Refocus w88 online live casino mind when it wanders to negative events or starts thinking about when the positive events will end

Some fun ways to describe the skills

Imagine driving on the freeway and a car cuts, you off and enters w88 online live casino lane. You have to slam on w88 online live casino breaks and nearly get in a car accident. What do you do? Many people’s action urge would be to honk their horn, shout loudly or engage in some other aggressive behavior. However, this does not match the facts. The correct emotion is fear or worry, thus you should problem-solve and decide whether to engage in opposite action. To remain safe, the best option likely to take a few deep breaths and continue driving, possibly moving to a lane far from the other driver, if safe.

2. Use the acronym “TEASE MASTERY” to remember ways to reduce vulnerability to negative emotions

Steps for increasing positive emotions and decreasing negative emotions:

• Treat physical illnesses
• Eat a balanced diet
• Avoiding mood-altering drugs
• Get enoughSleep
• Exercise daily
• BuildMASTERYof some skill or activity to increase w88 online live casino sense of control (e.g. get good at something you enjoy)

• Crisis survival strategies: Self-soothe
• Thinking of pros and cons
• Guidelines for accepting reality: Observing w88 online live casino breath exercises
• Radical acceptance and turning the mind

Sections of the module

1. Crisis survival strategies: Self-soothe

• In group, you will learn several options for self-soothing through activating w88 online live casino five senses: vision, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Examples of activities include listening to music, lighting a candle, having a good meal, petting w88 online live casino animal and smelling scented lotion.

2. Thinking of pros and cons

• One main aim of group is learning to decide when to act on w88 online live casino urges. An early step of distress tolerance is making a list of the pros and cons of tolerating the distress and not tolerating the distress. By visualizing this information on a chart, you can more easily decide w88 online live casino best option in the moment.

3. Guidelines for accepting reality: Observing w88 online live casino breath exercises

• One method of reducing the physiological and cognitive symptoms of experiencing distress is to focus on w88 online live casino breath. This can be done in multiple ways, including, but not limited to counting w88 online live casino breath, deep breathing, and measuring w88 online live casino breath by w88 online live casino footsteps.

4. Radical acceptance and turning the mind

• Radical acceptance means accepting w88 online live casino mind, heart and body as is, all the way. It is acceptance of w88 online live casino reality, including facts about the present and past and accepting that everything has a cause and that life can be worth living even after we experience a painful event. This can be done by turning the mind, which requires us make a commitment to accepting reality. This requires a choice to accept reality, but not to necessarily label something as being “good.” This also may require you to commit over and over when you find yourself starting to reject reality.

Some fun ways to describe the skills

Mindfulness is intentionally living with awareness in the present moment (waking up from automatic or role behaviors to participate and be present in our own lives). When we talk about mindfulness, we’re talking about being aware. So this means being aware of the current moment.

Most of us spend a lot of time in our heads, thinking, worrying, or planning, and may actually be ‘zoned out’ from our actual lives. Have you ever driven somewhere in w88 online live casino car, and when you get there you can’t remember the drive? It may feel like you’re living w88 online live casino life on autopilot, going through the motions but not actually living. This is the opposite of mindfulness.

Be present in the moment without judging or rejecting the moment (noticing consequences, discerning helpfulness and harmfulness—but letting go of evaluating, avoiding, suppressing, or blocking the present moment). Mindfulness can be used as a means of controlling w88 online live casino own mind instead of letting w88 online live casino mind control you. The idea here is that we will be learning to be able to do what’s right for you, despite being worried, scared, overwhelmed, etc.

Many women tell us that they know what would be best for them, but just can’t seem to do it. Mindfulness is the skill that helps us to move forward even when it’s tough. Without attachment to the moment (attending to experience of each new moment, rather than ignoring the present by clinging to the past or grabbing for the future).

How can mindfulness help?

Mindfulness can help reduce suffering and increase happiness. This can be achieved by alleviating pain, tension and stress through mindfulness. Mindfulness can also help increase control of w88 online live casino mind; this will help stop letting w88 online live casino mind be in control of you.

Mindfulness can help you experience reality as it is (e.g., learn to live life with w88 online live casino eyes wide open). You can learn to experience the reality of w88 online live casino:

• Connection to the universe
• Essential “goodness”
• Essential validity

Skills/concepts taught in this module

• Wheel of abuse
• States of mind
• "What" skills
• "How" skills
• Chain analysis

Sections of the module

1. Wheel of abuse

• This is the wheel of abuse and it shows the common strategies abusers use to keep others trapped. Not only do abusers use everything they have to keep the relationship they also try and destroy resources one could use to escape the abuse (e.g. isolating from social support, getting you fired, etc.).

2. States of mind

• Emotion mind: When in emotion mind, you are ruled by w88 online live casino moods, feelings, and urges to do or say things. Facts, reason, and logic are not important (e.g., hot; mood-dependent; emotional focused)
• Reasonable mind: When in reasonable mind, you are ruled by facts, reason, logic, and pragmatics. Values and feelings are not important (e.g., cool; rational; task-focused)
• Wise mind: Seeing the value of both reason and emotion. Bringing left brain and right brain together. The middle path. (e.g., The wisdom within each person) ​

3. "What" skills

• Observe: Just notice the experience. Notice without getting caught in the experience. Experience without reacting to w88 online live casino experience.
• Describe: Put words on the experience. When a feeling or thought arises, or you do something, acknowledge it. (Make sure to do non-judgmentally)
• Participate: Enter into w88 online live casino experience. Let yourself get involved in the moment, letting go of ruminating. Become one with w88 online live casino experience, completely forgetting yourself.

4. "How" skills

• One-mindfully: do one thing at a time. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. Do not multi-task.
• Effectively: Focus on what works. Do what needs to be done in each situation. Stay away from “fair” and “unfair” “right” and “wrong” “should” and “should not.”
• ​Non-judgmentally: See but don’t evaluate. Take a non-judgmental stance. Just the facts. Focus on the “what” not the “good” or “bad” the “terrible” or “wonderful” the “should” or “should not.”

5. Chain analysis

• Step #1: Describe the problem behavior.
• Step #2: Describe the prompting event that started the chain of events leading to the problem behavior.
• Step #3: Describe the factors happening before the event that made you vulnerable to starting down the chain of events toward the problem behavior.
• Step #4: Describe in excruciating detail the chain of events that led to the problem behavior.
• Step #5: Describe the consequences of the problem behavior.

Activities to practice at home

Below are some different ways to practice each skill and understand when and how you are mindful. Some will be easier than others and help provide information regarding which aspects of w88 online live casino life could be improved by practicing mindfulness.

Skill: Observe

Exercise: Conveyor Belt

Get comfortable in w88 online live casino chair, close w88 online live casino eyes and try to blank out w88 online live casino mind. I want you to picture a conveyor belt. Picture yourself walking up the conveyor belt, watching everything coming towards you. What you are watching for are w88 online live casino thoughts, urges, emotions or sensations. Watch them come down the conveyor belt. As they come closer to you, I want you to just watch them come and go and get back to watching to see what comes down the conveyor belt next. Try not to attach or push away what you notice on the conveyor belt. Just let it come and go. Afterwards, notice which things you had a hard time “letting go” of on the conveyor belt.

Skill: Describe

Exercise: Nit Pickin’

Put three objects on a table (a flower, a shoe, a glass with some type of liquid, Mardi Gras beads, a banana, etc.). Describe each object one at a time using w88 online live casino describe skill (“JUST THE FACTS”), describing just what you know, only what you observe. Add nothing, subtract nothing. Observe any “nit-picking” and just “observe” this, use a “non-judgmental stance” and get back to using “just the facts”. We tend to assume things as they are and usually our assumptions are wrong, so make sure to look at “what is” (reality) and respond from there.

Skill: Participate

Exercise: Body-to-object

Focus w88 online live casino attention on where w88 online live casino body touches an object (floor or ground, air molecules, a chair or armrest, w88 online live casino bed sheets and covers, w88 online live casino clothes, etc.). Try to see all the ways you are connected to and accepted by that object. Consider the function of that object with relation to you. That is, consider what the object does for you. Consider its kindness in doing that. Experience the sensation of touching the object, and focus w88 online live casino entire attention on that kindness until a sense of being connected or loved or cared for arises in w88 online live casino heart.

Skill: Non-Judgmental Stance

Exercise: Judging the Media

Take a magazine or newspaper and try to identify all the judgments you make about what you are looking at or reading. Pay close attention to the emotion(s) you feel as you are judging. Write down what you are judging and how it made you feel. Notice how judging causes unending problem emotions.

Skill: One-Mindful

Exercise: Multiple Games

Some fun at-home game require players to concentrate. Some examples of these games are:

• Jenga
• Concentration
• Memory
• Building houses out of playing cards
• Twister
• Simon
• Don’t Spill the Beans
• Hungry Hungry Hippos
• Operation
• Perfection